By Muhammed Haroon – 

For some people, grief is seen as something temporary, a painful period of heartache that eventually passes.

But for 21-year-old Lex, who has experienced the loss of several people close to him in recent years, grief has become a long-term part of life.

After multiple bereavements in a short space of time, Lex found himself struggling not only with loss but also with depression and the challenge of moving forward while carrying memories of those he loved.

When Losses begin to Build

Lex says his difficulties began a couple of years ago when he lost several people close to him.

Like many people facing grief, his initial response was to keep going and push through the pain.

However, each loss added to the weight he was already carrying.

“I tried to just keep going and push through it, but each loss seemed to build on the last one”

Over time, the emotional impact became overwhelming and contributed to a period of depression.

Rather than expecting the grief to disappear, Lex learned to gradually adapt to life alongside it.

The Hidden Impact of Grief

Although grief is often associated with sadness, its effects can reach into aspects of everyday life.

For Lex, there are days that lack a lot of energy and motivation.

Even what seems like simple tasks can feel difficult, and unexpected reminders of people he has lost can quickly change his mood.

Grief can also be exhausting because it follows you everywhere.

There is no switch to turn it off, and difficult emotions can emerge without warning.

Feeling Left Behind

According to Lex, one of the hardest aspects of grief is the feeling that life continues moving forward while part of you remains focused on what has been lost.

A deep sense of loneliness is often something that comes alongside grief.

Even when surrounded by family and friends, grief can feel isolating because every person’s experience of loss is unique.

No one else can fully understand the relationship you had with the person who has passed away, or the specific impact their passing has on your life.

Challenging Misconceptions

Lex believes one of the biggest misconceptions about grief is the idea that should be over a certain amount of time.

Many grieving people feel immense pressure, whether spoken or unspoken, to move on after a few months or a year.

However, grief rarely follows a timeline.

“You learn to cope better, but the feelings of the loss don’t just disappear.”

Another common misunderstanding is that someone who appears happy on the outside must be coping well.

In reality, people can carry significant pain while still laughing and getting on with their day to day life.

Finding Ways to Cope

Over time, Lex has found that accepting his emotions rather than fighting them has been one of the most important parts of coping.

He talks openly with people he trusts and sometimes connects with others who have experienced the same loss, sharing memories and supporting one another through difficult moments.

Keeping alive the memories of the passed loved ones has also helped maintain a sense of connection.

Rather than seeing grief as something to overcome, he has learned to allow himself to experience whatever emotions arise without judging himself for them.

The Importance of Support

Having a support system has made a significant difference to Lex’s journey.

While there have been times when he felt isolated, he still had family and friends reminding him that he was not alone and helped him through some of his darkest periods.

Sometimes, support is not about finding solutions.

“Having someone listen without trying to ‘fix’ everything can mean a lot.”

This simple act of listening can be one of the most valuable ways to support someone who is grieving.

More Than Just Sadness

Lex wishes more people understood that grief affects more than just emotions.

It can influence your mental health, confidence, physical wellbeing, relationships, sleep, motivation and work.

The effects often spread into almost every area of a person’s life.

He also stresses that there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Every person’s experience is different, and comparing one person’s grief journey to another’s can be unhelpful.

How Grief Changed Him

Despite the challenges, Lex believes grief has shaped him in meaningful ways.

The experience has made him more compassionate towards others and more aware that everyone may be carrying struggles that are not always visible.

It has given him a greater appreciation for the people in his life and a deeper understanding of how quickly circumstances can change.

As difficult as grief can be, it has altered his perspective and encouraged him to value relationships more deeply.

Advice for Others Facing Loss

For anyone going through a similar experience, Lex’s advice is simple,

“Don’t go through it alone.”

He encourages people to reach out, whether to friends, family, colleagues or professional support services, even your instinct is to withdraw from others.

Most importantly, he believes people should be patient with themselves.

“Please don’t put pressure on yourself to heal by a certain point because grief doesn’t follow

a timeline.”

Looking Ahead

When asked what changes he would like to see, Lex points to greater support for grieving people, particularly young adults.

He believes grief is often overlooked despite its significant impact on mental health and daily life.

More accessible support services and more open conversations about loss could help people feel less isolated in their experiences.

For Lex, grief is not something that disappears.

Instead, it becomes something a person learns to carry.

His story is a reminder that while loss may be a universal experience, the journey through grief is deeply personal and that compassion and understanding can make a meaningful difference along the way.

‘Living With’ is a series that shines a light on the often untold realities of living with long-term health conditions. Through personal stories and expert insights, it explores the challenges people face, the ways they adapt and cope, and the support, services and communities available to help them live well.